Sunday, May 29, 2005
[8:10 PM]
dance practices are getting more and more stressful. and my blisters are getting worse every pratice. they now appear to be more like ringworms. and the bruises on my knees... oh dear... dance is definitely not for the weak and faint-hearted. but no matter how painful it might be, i don't mind at all. for the success of rapture. i would rather suffer the agony now than the embarrassment of having to perform a piece of crap. but what do i get from all the sacrifices? nothing. of the many i smsed less than a fifth of them replied. to those who didn't, thanks arh i really appreciate your SUPPORT and ENCOURAGEMENT. i feel EXTREMELY blessed. thanks arh people. God... i'm not forcing you people to come and watch! i don't even expect you all to make the decision now. it's a month away. you have a long time to think about it. but the least you could have done is reply me. now i'm feeling like as if i'm not being appreciated at all, that i don't mean anything to anyone's life. i feel neglected. is it so damn bloody hard to just key in a few words to tell me that you have received my message and that you will need some time to think about it? is 5 cents for one fucking sms too expensive? am i a waste of your time and money? it's okay if you don't wanna go for it. that's your own decision. you can have your own say. i have no right to force you to go. it's not like i'm gonna chase after you, beat you up or feel hurt if ur gonna tell me ur not going. i don't care. but i do care when people don't acknowledge me. i hate it.
gah. maybe i'm just being too emotional. i can't help it. it's getting real hard. we have practices every single day next week except for monday and sunday. there's too much burden, too much expectation, and there's the exams coming up right after the june break... it's just too stressful. and i tend to get depressed very easily nowadays. i'm sorry for saying all that just now. just ignore it. just ignore me.