Relentlessly Superior.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
[11:57 PM]

i feel like i'm suffering from a very weird syndrome. or prolly just some kind of psychological problem. because i turn into a totally different person at night. i will feel sick. nauseated. i will feel like as if the world's crushing on me. i have difficulty breathing. i can't think straight. i feel gloomy. i can't do my work. i can't study. i feel suicidal. only yesterday, i was pouring hot water into a mug and when some splashed onto my right foot, i actually felt like pouring the whole jug of hot water on me, so i would scald to death. i feel sadistic.

and all this only happens at night.

i might need a psychiatrist. or is it a psychologist? i don't care. maybe, this is the result of not being in touch with your religion for so long. i have long neglected my responsibilities as a Muslim and i think it is really sad. the world now seems more important than afterlife. this is terrible. someone, gimme a wake up call. God, call me back to you.

and it really doesn't help seeing your assignments constantly being graded poorly, extremely poorly, and your classmates doing well, extremely well.

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