Sunday, February 19, 2006
[5:27 PM]
the block right opposite mine to be precise
and horns were blown and drums were beaten,
people sang and wailed like it was some
indegenous tribe's ceremony. i didn't
sense sorrow nor grief. but it wasn't festive
either.
death. religion has taught us to always
expect death to come to us the next day.
life is too gay for me right now.
Lady Nijo said, "the first half of my life
was all sin and the second all repentance."
what if i don't get to live till i'm in
my sixties? should i wait till i'm halfway
through my life before i start repenting?
what if half was 5 years back? what if
death is only a breath away?
-
i love people. but i'm just sick and tired
of having people telling me how i should live
my life. it's my fucking life for fuck's sake and
no one has the right to tell me i shouldn't say
fuck or i shouldn't fuck all the same.
"freedom of choice". they've given
a whole new meaning to it.
i've had enough of them. i don't want to be
spending the rest of life pleasing them
and making sure they are not hurt by
my ruthless comments. i can't give a fuck anymore.
but for love, i will still be nice,
in my own fashion.
i would rather be selfish
than fake.
-
i can't deny the fact that i am greatly
disappointed with my parents' constant assumptions
and making up of ideas of my wants and needs.
and i wish they could stop laughing at
the things i treasure most in life.
-
on a lighter note,
is what i go to school for.