Monday, July 31, 2006
[11:01 AM]
i still don't see how this is unglam. that's the prettiest photo of me sleeping you will ever get to capture i tell you! what's with the red fan you ask? i was fanning myself because it was really hot and the heat was making me sleepy at the same time so i fell asleep while fanning myself! bleargh~ haha.
anyway the letter from Mr Lee made me rediscover the emotions which i have lost, buried underneath all the pain, unhappiness, worry, pressure and criticism. i have honestly forgotten how it feels like to be happy and proud of myself because the pressure that is cooking us drains all those feelings away at the same time and i'm not just talking about the concern of the letter. when was the last time i feel proud of a piece of work or assignment i did? because i know no matter how much effort i put in some things are just not meant to be or perhaps not yet meant to be. i have had too much criticsm to take and after awhile i find myself beginning to accept all of it as truth, which is very sad of course. and i've stopped admiring whatever i do ever since. talk about self esteem.