Friday, January 26, 2007
[6:29 PM]
So I was flipping through Dance Magazine just now and, oh boy, I miss prancing around the stage so bloody much. I miss the agony, the routine, the pulling of muscles, the sweating, the crying, the stress, the joy, the fun of being there on the stage being watched by a million pairs of eyes (or what seems like a million pairs of eyes), all ready to pick on you for silly little mistakes (which are never silly actually) so they could go "AH! OUT OF BEAT!" simply because they love your imperfections. People are always talking about having butterflies in the stomach everytime they're about to go on stage; it's cliche. When I get nervous, butterflies don't really attack my stomach (probably because there's not enough space what with all the junks I keep stuffing myself with). Instead, my balls freeze up. (So stop asking me if I ever get turned on lifting girls.)
The dance scene in our country is really pathetic, like anything else here that's related to the word 'arts'. I once lamented this to a friend and his reply was simply, "Well, Stefanie Sun made it" (or something along that line). Somebody shoot me please. You won't know how it's like until you experience it yourself. His point was that in order to be big, you need to dream big. God, have I been building sandcastles in the air all this while? In this industry, no matter how high your aspirations may be, if you don't have the luck, you're simply doomed. But the dance scene here is really simply, lack of a better word, dead. Flipping through the magazine, I felt as if I was spoilt for choices as there were hundreds of dance schools advertising auditions for classes. Unfortunately, they're all in the States.
I hope I can perform for Rapture this year. I'm holding back my passion due to my loyalty to the country grr..