Relentlessly Superior.

Monday, May 26, 2008
[10:05 PM]

I've been a victim of unappreciative, angry men of late, people passing remarks and telling me how little I'm worth, being told off as if I'm the most useless thing ever dirtied the surface of earth. It hurts real bad and if you think that's because my ego is shaken, then I think you have a problem with sensitivity. The best person to judge you is yourself really and to be honest, I've yet to meet anyone as diligent and hardworking as I am when it comes to reaching goals and producing results. Sounds embarrassingly cocky but it's something about myself I learnt through the NS hoolabullah. There can never be a compromise when it comes to getting your work done on time, having pride in the work you do and pleasing people who need to be pleased; all this checked and life's like a trip to Disneyland. These are 3 of my principles or if you will, most effective survival skills. When you don't give what's required or expected of you and there's not an inch of pride in the product, you have effectively ruined the last component which is to please the higher authority, and as a result you get screwed and at the end of the day nobody's happy. But you deserve it.

It's a whole different story when you know you're the kind of person who would do all of the above to satisfy everyone else before yourself even if it requires a lot of sacrifices yet you still have people who screw you up for seemingly no apparent reason though perhaps it could be because they either don't trust you, look down on you or look at you as if you're not worth a thing. It leaves you feeling bewildered, unsure if you should cry because you've just been hurt real bad on the inside or be tough about it and lie to yourself that some people are just like that there's nothing you can do about them and their work attitude, especially when you're very much aware of how little you really are and your miserable position on the hierachy ladder. Sometimes I feel sad for these people, it reflects horribly on the kind of person they are and more importantly it makes people lose respect for them, truthfully I can't think of anything more degrading than that. Pride and respect are my main driving principles and they are the most fundamental thing I think one would need to survive in this dog eat dog world. You know what, I think it's simple; I just can't work for or with people who doubt my capabilites even if they don't make it known. It's like this invisible wall that hinders the transmission of brain waves between us.

I'm currently hosting a group of foreign delegates here to learn more on the ways we go about managing disasters. It's highly ironic because these high ranking officials come from countries where disasters are plenty and they are here to learn from us how to handle disasters when the only major disasters we ever had were the collapse of Hotel New World and Nicoll Highway. We are lucky enough to be situated in a relatively disaster-free region so I do question our knowledge and ability in handling natural disasters when these people are actually here to learn how to handle exactly that. But irony aside, I'm having a great time interacting with these people who come from so many different countries some of which I've never heard of till now, like Lesotho and Swaziland. My geography and general knowledge need lots of polishing, seriously.

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