Relentlessly Superior.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010
[11:34 PM]

You keep denying the way you feel about this. You keep telling yourself, oh I'm strong I don't let such trivial things affect me. The only problem is deep down you know these things are not trivial. They will never be because they are what the crux of civilisation is based upon. The fundamental existence of human being is based on this and all those other little things that are associated to it. But no you still insist this is not the path you have planned for yourself. You can't afford to be a weakling and crumble under such pressure. No because you want to believe that you are not human, you are superhuman, you don't depend on such insignificant mortal issues. They distract you. They steer you away from your ultimate goals in life. They are the evils. Evil is not a point of view. You can't let it ruin you. But the truth is, it is. They are wrecking your heart and your brain and they hurt you where it hurts most. They shake your world the way you've shaken those belonged to others. They bite you and let you have a feel of the exact evil you've done unto others. Of course what you did to them was fine. It was as fine as taking a nice long stroll in the park on a lazy Sunday. You know it was painful but being you, selfish like Dutch, you didn't bother to care. Why should you? It is your life after all. Your life matters more to you. Who cares about their feelings. But you said too soon. When you got onto the other end of the spectrum you realised, fucking shit, it fucking hurts like nuts. It fucking pierced through you like a fucking sharp nail. You keep on smiling. No, it is not affecting me, it doesn't affect me, it shouldn't affect me. Why? Because I'm superhuman. You live on in denial. But fuck it hurts like nuts. You can't take it anymore. You can't go on pretending you are perfectly all right. What the fuck is wrong with me, you ask. You try to reason with yourself. What you did was legitimate, or that's what you would like to think. But what they are doing to you now is not. No the world is never fair is it. What the fuck is wrong with you? They are doing to you what you have been doing to others so you fucking deserve it. You deserve it scumbag. You can't properly explain it? You don't need to. It doesn't take a genius to realise what the problem is with you you moron. You're a fucking human, live with it. No, I'm confused. No, I'm just plain confused. Let me dwell in my confusion. I'm all right. Everything's gonna be all right.

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